How long will it take, and how much will it cost?

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http://nepaladoptionrumors.blogspot.com/

Back to everyday life

We’re getting back to our routine. Bug went with us to see the lion king. He was so excited he had made a little giraffe mask in preschool and asked to wear it to the musical. Ok, I’m biased, but I thought he was adorable. He loved the show and walked all the way back to the car making giant giraffe steps. All week since then, it’s been non-stop fantasy play about the lion king for him. He’s pretended to be every character in the show.


I told one of my patients that Shanti’s name means “peace” so she promptly went out and bought her the cutest top which of course says “Peace” in little blue peace signs.


Then today we went up to the lake to pull the dock out of the water…well, James pulled the dock out and I kept the kids out of the way. It was the kids first long ride in the car together. They did pretty well, although at about halfway (45 min) Shanti decided she had had enough of the carseat thing and fussed until she fell asleep. Shanti also seemed a little shocked by being out in nature. She was fascinated that the ground was cold and damp. She going to be shocked when snow falls. I’m sure we’ll make her into a Alaska girl soon enough though.

Coming up for Air

We did make it home… almost 7 days ago now. It has been a whirlwind since then. Or maybe it’s just seemed like a whirlwind with everyone adjusting to local time, local weather, being back at work, and for the boys, back at daycare. But perhaps most significantly, we are adjusting to now being a family of 5.

The night we got home, the boys were waiting with my mother at our house. They were so excited to actually meet their new sister. I was nervous, expecting the worst….tears, Shanti being upset at sharing her new mommy with two other kids, the boys not understanding why their little sister was scared of them, not wanting to share their mommy with this new kid in their house…..but none of that was true. The boys were so happy to finally meet Shanti and were enthralled by her. We had been showing Shanti photos of her brothers for the week before we came home; it really seemed to help too. Shanti warmed up to them almost immediately and within 5 minutes she was playing with toys they had brought to her out of their toybox. My mother had prepped the boys that Shanti might be scared at first and they needed to be gentle with her, but no worries. Within a day and a half, Shanti was fully holding her own and happy to challenge anyone who questioned her ownership of every ball in the house.





Shanti is also slowly warming up to the other people in her life. She loves to play with her daddy now and even occasionally will let him comfort her. She also has accepted my mother after a rough 4 hours on our first Monday back. Unfortunately I had to go back to work the day after we returned from Nepal, so my mother has been watching her while I’m at work. They say it’s not the best for a newly adopted child’s attachment to have other caregivers in so soon….but given being gone from work for 4 weeks, there really wasn’t any other choice.

So we’re doing well, we’re happy, and we’re a family. It just feels so right……chaotic, but right.

Airport details

We made it on the plane from Kathmandu to Seoul, but not without some drama. I had called Kore*n Air Kathmandu office 4 days before we left to let our airline know that we were bringing Shanti back with us as a lap child. “No problem, you’ll have to pay taxes and a small fee” ….Is there anything else you need….her travel document number? My visa card number? “No it’s all done…no problem”. I hang up and think, wow, that was easy……I really should have thought…”Hmmmmm that was _too_ easy”

So we reconfirm our flight the night before and the morning of, just to be safe. We give ourselves plenty of time to get to the airport (leave the hotel 3 hours before our flight) . Surprisingly with Dashain festivities there is virtually no traffic and we make it to the airport in record time and we get in the line to check in. Small problem; there is no record of us having a lap child. After 20 minutes or so, they understand what we need, and tell us it’ll cost $260-something. No problem….oh there is a problem….we traveled on frequent flyer mileage tickets and for some reason they can’t connect a lap child to a frequent flyer ticket….now the airline employee’s suggest we stay in Kathmandu for a few days while they sort this out (No…..please don’t say that! I’m so ready to be home), so after 90 minutes of biting my nails, and after the full time efforts of 5 heroic KAL employees one of them finally smiles….they’ve done it! I’m so relieved I can’t describe it….but it was short lived. I pull out my credit card “You don’t have cash?” Apparently they’re not set up at the airport to take credit cards. We finally realize we can use our credit card to get a cash advance. J walks with the ticket agent to the airport bank where they get the cash. Somehow the price has changed to only $159. And now we’re late, so late we get to have an escort to help us run from point to point and cut ahead in line. We rush up the stairs (for some reason the airport no longer charges a $23. exit tax) to the second security checkpoint where they open up our bags and go through absolutely everything – opening up makeup containers, flipping though papers, books and everything else. Although they allow a 10 oz package of premade dal (what would no doubt be considered a liquid in the US), apparently small toy balls filled with air are contraband, so Shanti’s little yellow ball that she loves so dearly gets to stay in Kathmandu. Next stop Customs where they need not only our passports, Shanti’s travel document and the declaration sheet you got when you entered the country, but also a copy of Shanti’s adoption decree and a copy of her travel document (make copies and bring them with you). Finally we pass through and make it to the gate as the plane is boarding. 6 hours later we are finally in Seoul. Clean orderly, quiet Seoul. One step closer to home.

A little break

I feel a little guilty that I want to get home so badly, but I miss our boys terribly. I miss cool weather, and I miss sleeping in my own bed.

We got a much needed break the past 2 days. Took a taxi to Nagarkot, hiked on trails and dirt roads (not much more than than a trail), got caught in a Monsoon downpour, and heard nothing but birds and the occasional cricket. Rising at dawn to see the sunrise over the himalayas was a bust, but it really didn’t matter. The cool mountain air and the peace and quiet are what we really went for.


It was a little hard at night for Shanti. She went to sleep just fine, but when she woke up in the middle of the night in entirely unfamiliar surroundings, she was consoled only by sleeping in my arms in a chair and even then only after a bottle and about 45 minutes of wailing. I’m sure getting on a plane and sleeping in new surroundings at our home with two brothers will be an adjustment for her. I really wish I had a week or two before I had to go back to work to help smooth her transition…..but we’ve will have been gone almost 4 weeks as it is, and bills have to be paid, and life must go on.

That being said, Miss Shanti has come out of her shell….way out. From my lap, she flirts with people across restaurants, smiling and giggling, then turning away….only to turn back to see if they are still looking….causing a whole new cycle of smiling and giggling. She’ll wander even 15 feet from me to explore her surroundings…unless someone says something to her which causes her to run back to the safety of my lap. She still clutches a washcloth when she’s in new surroundings (she rejected all baby blankets in favor of a Yak and Yeti white washcloth), and she still needs to be able to keep me in sight, but that’s pretty normal for a 16 month old. As I said, we expect a rough first week or so at home….she’ll have to adjust to very different smells, sights, and most of all sharing mommy with two brothers. But all in all, I think she’ll weather the transition just fine…..


Now just to make it through the next 42 hours traveling home.

We're coming home, Baby!

Finally, one full week after submitting our paperwork to the U.S. embassy, they approved our case and called to say that they were ready to issue a visa for Shanti. I can now breathe a huge sigh of relief. The embassy was _very_ thorough; thorough to the point of visiting the orphanage, and in some cases interviewing personel at the police station that issued the report of abandoned child. I suppose it is a good thing for them to be so meticulous at evaluating the information regarding our child….but it still is nervewracking.

So now the government of Nepal and the government of the United States both recognize Shanti as our daughter. This was the last big hurdle. We’re coming home baby!

Unfortunately our airline doesn’t have any flights out of Kathmandu until Friday. So tomorrow morning we head out to Nagarkot for some peace and quiet. Then Friday we head home! This has been a long 3 ½ weeks away from our boys. We miss them dearly.

Tired of waiting

Monday we wait by the phone….hoping to hear news from the embassy that Shanti’s visa is ready and can be picked up. Around 11 AM we get the call, but not the one we’re hoping for. They say they will call again Tuesday morning. Are there any problems? I ask. “No, we just want to be sure we’re thorough”.

We’ve seen most of the major sites of Kathmandu and the Kathmandu Valley. Both J and I are “templed out”. We’re both a little tired of the traffic, noise, and the constant barrage of people trying to sell us thankas and pashima shawls. We don’t leave until Friday, but we would so love to have Shanti’s visa in order so we could get out into the countryside at Nagarkot, where the air is clear, the temperature is less muggy, and there is no traffic jams.

I can tell I need a little break. I’m beginning to focus on the seamier aspects of Kathmandu….The boy laying on the sidewalk huffing gasoline from a plastic bag, the raw sewage running down the street, the dead rat I step over, the beggerwoman and her skinny baby I try not to make eye contact with. I don’t want these to be the things that I focus on. They’re part of Kathmandu, but they’re not all of it. The people are generous and kind. No one here yells in traffic jams that would be sure to bring out road rage in people in the US. Hindi get along side by side with Buddhists, everyone we come in contact with has been warm and helpful, people share whatever they have even when they have so little. The land and the people are so beautiful. These are the lasting memories, the memories I will teach Shanti about her country of birth as she grows.